Business Communications Success Tip |
Active listening has many applications. Workplace applications include interactions between employers or human resources staff and employees and customer service situations. Active listening is a process that gives you the opportunity to learn more about the person speaking and the real issues that may be floating just below the surface. The process of active listening also provides validation for the speaker because the listener is demonstrating that she understands and accepts what the speaker is saying. The listener does this by listening without judgment and reflecting any emotion back to the speaker. This validation helps establish trust and rapport between the speaker and the listener. The active listening process involves the following:
Paul and Sandy are colleagues who have become friends. They are walking out of a meeting when Sandy notices that Paul is not his usual cheery self. Sandy: Paul, is something bothering you? Paul: (Hesitating) No, not really. Sandy: Are you sure? Paul: (Pausing) Well. I just don't like meetings. Sandy: I didn't know that. What is it about meetings that you don't like? Paul: I'm just not comfortable in meetings. Sandy: You're not comfortable in meetings? What about the meetings makes you uncomfortable? Paul: I feel awkward whenever I'm asked to give my opinion and I freeze up. Sandy: You're afraid that everyone else will reject what you have to say? Paul: Well, yeah. Sandy has discovered the underlying emotion Paul is experiencing by listening to what he is saying and asking open-ended questions. Once Sandy is confident that she has identified the emotion, she reflects it back to Paul, who confirms Sandy's thinking. If Sandy were incorrect, Paul would have denied the feeling and, hopefully, revealed his true emotion. Otherwise, Sandy would continue questioning and listening to Paul until she identified it. After identifying the emotion, Sandy can continue the conversation and help Paul see the situation differently by leading him to a new way of thinking. It is Paul's decision to accept or reject the new thought. It is important to keep in mind that there are times when the best thing to do is merely reflect the feeling back to the speaker. Sometimes the best way to help a person is to just be there for him or her. Sandy: Paul, did you ever think that the reason people ask for your opinion is that they value it? Paul: No, I haven't thought about it that way. You're saying they wouldn't ask me my opinion if they didn't want to hear it? Sandy: That's right. Paul: Hmmm… |
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